Visio Guy Wins Landmark €400MM Decision vs. EU (April Fools’)
Vienna, Austria—As spring comes to the Danube river valley, the green in the hills isn’t the only sign of reprieve from the long, dark winter. Employees of Visio Guy, an internet-based firm, also sighed relief—and jumped for joy—as the final judgment in a bitter lawsuit came down.
The case ended after months of courtroom-squabbling, with the plaintiff accusing the EU of digging into Microsoft’s deep pockets, crippling competition, stifling the IT-business climate, and hurting the little guy, while the defendant countered with claims that the plaintiff “just wanted to work from home”, and “sought to profiteer from pay-per-click online advertising instead of working at Siemens for 30 years, like a good German-speaker should.”
Visio Guy’s CEO was available for comment:
“We’re really glad to see the word of the powers-that-be point our way. They [defendant] were not only hurting Microsoft, but also killing the drive to excel and cutting-off access to a brighter future. I mean, what kind of outlook does business have if success is rewarded with mega-fines? The vista was bleak: they were closing the windows on our children’s future—robbing them of the hopes and dreams of starting a business that one day might grow to become something really big!
Plus, with the necessary cutbacks at Microsoft, I had to buy my own ticket to the MVP Global Summit this year…”